With her ladyship attending the trooping of the colour and tea with Liz afterwards I was in the awkward situation of having to drive my own vehicle. We have to get more staff or there will be stiff letters exchanged through our solicitors!
So, Stumpy digs up another new fixture for us from his Inn On The Lake inner circle and Farningham 2 XI duly arrived after a brief visit to Stone rec. Seemed like a decent bunch but they had the nerve to win the toss and bowl. That is our plan. Fielding after tea on a hot day is never recommended and led to several attempts by our skip to avoid fielding duties, (more of that later).
We bat and it is hot hot hot. More than could be said of our first 5 wickets. 5/1 Bately bowled by one of the few that kept a bit low and had him sulking about the dent on his average for ages. 28/2 Dartsy played on and walked off grimacing about the pain in his finger. He response on being asked to bat at 3 was a true statement about his commitment to the cause “Finger is a bit sore, (we all hear about that a lot) not sure I can hold a bat but I can open if no one wants it or go 3 whatever you like” 28/3 Pussy also plays on having stuck out some sharp if not well directed bowling from their opener. The bruise on the shoulder should be nice and purple by now. 30/4 Double 0 Dine also pays on and makes a start on a bid for the duck cup. 30/5 Our illustrious vice is also out playing on, via his pad and joins Double 0 Dine in the duck cup effort. Plans are being made for an early visit to the pub which, while it is lovely, we really ought to put a score up.
A stand. Of sorts. Skip and “Hangover” Stevens put on 28 and just as Joe gets his head down he gives the bowler a simple catch. 58/6.
In comes Mark Butler. Friend of Darts and fearless of batting. A stand of 40, mostly in boundaries and we are approaching 3 figures until an outstanding catch seems him out for 22 valuable runs. 98/7
Robocop to the fore and another stand. He plays straight and spent a lot of time keeping their best bower out while Skip laid into some pies from the other end and a stand of 41.
In the midst of this stand was the real entertainment. Skip takes one right in the “crown jewels” as it says on Instagram. Apparently. Floored and in some pain he made his first bid to have a rest and went off.
In comes Dory. More no fear batting from him which is still a joy. Not as successful as last time out but fun to watch never the less. Then we were 142/9. Not a bad score for us and we still had 30 minutes or so to play.
Walkie Talkie and Skip, who had deigned to come back to the fray, took it to the last ball. Walkie showing some classic good defense and the occasional head rush. One almighty swing saw his almost hit the ball on the back swing!
Eventually all out for 181 with our Skip getting his best score for Stone of 62 not out. Finally bringing his net work to the midde.
Tea. Finally supplied by Dino despite Dory trying to volunteer any members of his family he could think of without telling them.
Bowling was not so much fun. No one really had a shocker, and we bowled some good overs, but we just couldn’t take the wickets. Lots of near misses in the field with Robocop almost getting 2 stunners, one falling just short of Mark and their best bat managing to snick it all over the place among some better shots. Only one drop. Walkie Talkie the guilty party who was probably thinking why there wasn’t more cake available at tea.
More entertainment from our Skip. Cramp. Collapsed twice in a heap and went off again. Bats well once and cant field with out more attention seeking. Dory also suffered a bit of heat stroke and had to leave for a bit which is warning to us all during this hot spell.
We pushed them right to the end but they won with 5 overs to spare. A defeat by 7 wickets seems harsh compared to how we played. There were some great efforts in the field, notably by Hangover Stevens in the covers.
A little cameo from Dartsy at the end who, shall we say eloquently, reminded Vice of his skill, ability and value to the team after sneaking a wicket; or words to that effect. We will gloss over the leg side full toss that was launched in the direction of our leg slip like a tracer bullet and he had to use all of his skill to not end up dragged off the field with a ball implanted in his head. Dolly of the day?
Pub. Lost of fun. Skip supplied his jug. Semtex reported in all glowing after the birth of his twins and was heartily congratulated.
Performance of the day for his 62 not out to skip.
SB of the day, despite many good contenders, to Jezza in his absence, for obvious reasons.
Onwards and upwards. Home to Ide Hill next game and the selection committee is in full swing.
First call for anyone who wishes to provide tea please.
P.S. Match reports are much easier and comprehensive with the scorebook in hand.